beautiful being

|  LAURA TROTT  |

Laura Trott is first and foremost is a regular human being traversing this journey that is known as life, stumbling and soaring just like the rest of the world. She is a yoga teacher, passionate writer, and healthcare worker. She finds her personal medicine in her writing and on her mat. Living in Northern NSW, Australia with her husband she spends a lot of time on the most beautiful beaches in the world. When she isn’t reading, writing, or yoga’ing she gets outside as much as possible. Her dream is to see more of the world and to be more in the world concurrently. She is in the process of authoring her first book, details of which will be available online when the time is right.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO JUST GO FOR IT, AND START LIVING THE LIFE YOU LOVE? WAS THERE A TURNING POINT OR AN ‘A-HA’ MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU REALISED YOU NEEDED TO MAKE THE CHANGE?

I personally believe the concept of some divine moment of intervention that is talked about a lot in self-help circles in somewhat of a fairy tale. I don’t think we find the life we love after a turning point, for our roads are long, there are numerous forks, turns and paths that can be taken and life is a day to day moment to moment choice, that we co-create with every moment we find ourselves in.

I find that a lot of people and myself included have evolved into living a life we love; we have come upon it by trial and error. Trial and error in relationships, careers, friendships, personalities, interests, everything is a process of trial and error, and the life we feel we love today may not be the life we love tomorrow. Certainly there were significant moments and lessons along my own path called life that stand out more than others, but I don’t think we suddenly just download a new way of being or a new life.

For me, a significant part of my life was coloured with depression and anxiety that was quite severe, and making a pact with myself to change was certainly one of those significant moments, but the change that accompanied this decision came about gradually, heck, the change is still occurring. In describing a turning point it would feel to me as though I was saying I wasn’t quite loving my life at this point – which for me is false. In fact some of the most amazing times in my life were experienced during my most depressed or anxious days – because it drew me out into nature and into the world. Camping in the woods, riding horses, lying under the stars with tears rolling down my cheeks have been some of the most divine days of my life. Some of the craziest, wildest, most free days and night of my life have been while high or drunk and none of these experiences I would trade to be where I am right now, for they are what got me to where I am right now. I guess what I am saying is that I have always lived a life I loved, it is living this constant process of trial and error that is loveable about my life, the turning point only came when I realised this was so!

HOW IS YOUR LIFE DIFFERENT NOW AND WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO YOU?

It is hard to write of the contrast in my own life because as mentioned above the changes have comes about organically, I merely evolved. I would love to say I feel less sadness, less pain but I don’t for there is equal amounts of pain and happiness in the world and I have always felt both equally, just my awareness was always more focused on the sadness and now it is equally balanced between the two. I think the major difference is that I am more accepting of how I feel moment to moment, day to day, second by second. Am I different to who I was before? Absolutely radically different, yet at the same time not at all, for I am merely the sum of my experiences so how can I be different. My life is still crazy beautiful, it is 30 year old beautiful, so it involves less parties, less booze, less drugs, less craziness and a more adult groundedness, more delight in good food, more yoga, more delight in depth within friendships, it involves me naturally drawing into life, marriage, love – the natural evolution that comes to us all as we grow into life.

HOW DID OPENING UP AND ‘BEING AUTHENTICALLY YOU’ AFFECT THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU OR YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEM?

As I grow and become more of who I am at the age I am, then the people that surround me evolve in synchronicity with this. Take for example my yoga practice and my deep sense of spirituality that comes with this, this isn’t for everyone, some people don’t understand the depth with which I view life and that is totally ok, but my friendships, my circles have shape shifted to reflect this.

The hardest relationship to evolve has been with my parents as they have the belief system that we merely live and then we die and that is all there is to life. They meet my beliefs with amusements and put downs, they meet who I am with confusion and this makes an already strained relationship harder. So being more me and growing into who I am hasn’t really changed people around me because they will always be who they are, but it has changed who I spend my time with. I am more aware of whom to share more of what I believe with and those with whom I just to talk about the weather!

Many years ago I faced my own mortality head on, this happened at a very young age and since this point I have found that people my own age find my depths confusing, but what this has allowed for is the appearance of people and relationships that support this, I attract people that are interested in exploring their own depths too. I have found as I evolve and grow then people come and go into my life in response to this, it is a beautiful thing to watch.

WHAT IS YOUR TRUE ESSENCE? THE NATURAL PART OF YOUR BEING THAT MAKES YOU SPECIAL.

When you practice yoga or meditate regularly then you experience this nameless state of being that we can only limit through word by calling it our “true essence”. When you come face to face with your own mortality you connect to your truest self – your atman. Scientifically my truest nature is that of energy, I am a swirling mass of energy that cannot be made or destroyed. I am that beyond my senses, the five limited channels with which we sense our being in the world. I just am. I am special for the same reasons you are special, the same reasons we are all special – simply because we are here and we exist.

WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT YOURSELF?

I love my soul, for it is very old. I love my strength, for I think this quality in me is beautiful. I love my empathy and my ability to see the world and those around me beyond all the stories we weave. I love my ability to see beyond and through things. I love my mind, for its ability to grasp widely vast concepts that make sense somewhere deep inside of me. I love my body for having never given up.

WHERE DO YOU FIND BEAUTY AND INSPIRATION?

Everywhere, it is all around us. It is in other people – in their weakness and strength, in their pain and in their happiness, humans are beautiful, we are so complex and mysterious I fail to see how that aspect of us cannot be beautiful.

But my number one place to find it is in nature, all we need to do is open our eyes wide, just exactly where we are, to find the beauty that nature surrounds us with moment to moment. I find I am more inspired in huge open expanses of nature, like on top of mountains and hidden places what humans have yet to infiltrate where I can watch the miracle of nature of by. It is in the wind in the trees, the changing of the seasons. It is the ability for me to see and process all of nature!

AS A CHILD, WHAT DID YOU ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO DO?

I was a tree climber, a den builder, a swing maker, I loved nothing more than getting my hands and knees dirty. Running into the sun and into the forests, riding my bike around country roads until I was alone and lost with no sense of direction home. I loved being outdoors because it is one of the only places I found peace in my childhood. I loved books, libraries, and words.

WHAT LIGHTS YOU UP AND WHY?

Quantum physics, ancient spiritual texts – realising that these two things are in fact talking about the exact same thing. Chasing meaning, the meaning of life and existence, then realising that chasing the meaning is the meaning. Movement, yoga, the unmistakeable connection between the mind and body.

WHEN LIFE GETS BUSY, OVERWHELMING AND THE NEGATIVITY STARTS TO CREEP IN, HOW DO YOU UNWIND AND ALLOW YOURSELF TO ‘JUST BE’?

I either find my yoga mat or some other form of movement. I find my breath or stillness. More and more my yoga practice is becoming one of just allowing myself to be, on my back in savasana, allowing, noticing, sitting with myself through all that is, this is becoming my go to in times when negativity creeps in. But more frequently I find myself in nature – mountains, the beach, anywhere green where I can’t see another human or human construction.

WHAT MESSAGE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHER WOMEN WHO ARE WANTING TO RECONNECT WITH THEIR OWN NATURAL WAY OF BEING AND FIND THE BEAUTY WITHIN THEMSELVES?

Turn off from following everyone else’s story, they don’t have the answers, living your own life holds the answers. Spend less time and money chasing yourself in a business or career and find yourself where you are right now. The answers are not online and they are much simpler than you think. There is nothing for you in the calls to self-care, or the steps to happiness people are selling, the answers to finding yourself is so much smaller (but at the same time bigger) than that, and you will laugh out loud when you realise this. Keep changing, growing and evolving every day, don’t try to became a certain type of person, be the type of person you are today. You find yourself in letting go of all the searching and doing exactly what you feel at this very moment… not what someone advises that you do, not striving to be or look like someone else’s life.

Become quieter, make less noise in the world and actually be more physically in the world. Connect with people in person for hugs, real person to person hugs are what count. Don’t be afraid of speaking your sadness and pain for here is where you will find your natural self, your beauty, for it is your experience, your evolution that has made you.

Experiment, make mistakes, fuck up, change your mind, be different, be the same, for this is where the goodness of your being lies.

Be kind, be kind to others and to yourself wherever possible…

and don’t forget to HUG!

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE YOU?

Pretty damn special!

| CONNECT WITH LAURA |

Laura is currently having a break from the online world, but you can follow her on Instagram

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